Is Business Personal? When personal feelings, income and passion projects are attacked and it feels personal

By Madison Porter, CEO of Nudge

For as long as I’ve worked, I’ve heard the same phrase repeated in boardrooms, HR meetings and business coaching circles:

“It’s not personal. It’s just business.”

I understand why people say it.

It’s meant to create emotional distance.

To sound rational.

To soften impact.

But here’s the truth many people won’t say out loud:

Business becomes personal the moment it touches your livelihood, your values, or the work you care deeply about.

And pretending otherwise doesn’t make it healthier... it makes it harder to process.

When Your Work Is Tied to Who You Are

When you build something from scratch, a business, a brand, a body of work, it is never just transactional.

Your ideas come from your experiences.

Your values shape your decisions.

Your income supports your life, your family, your safety.

So when your work is criticised, dismissed, undermined or attacked, it doesn’t land in a vacuum.

It lands on:

• Your sense of competence

• Your sense of worth

• Your financial security

• Your belief in what you’re building

That doesn’t make you unprofessional.

It makes you human.

Income Is Emotional Whether We Admit It or Not

We like to talk about money as if it’s neutral.

It isn’t.

Income determines:

• Where you live

• What you can afford to say no to

• How much risk you can take

• How safe you feel

So when income is threatened, through unstable work, unethical behaviour, unpaid labour, or shifting expectations, the stress is not just financial.

It’s psychological.

Telling someone “don’t take it personally” when their income is impacted is like telling them not to feel the ground move beneath their feet.

Passion Projects Hurt Differently

Passion projects are especially vulnerable.

They’re built outside comfort zones.

Often without guaranteed returns.

Usually fuelled by belief before validation.

So when they’re criticised, copied, devalued or dismissed, it hits differently.

Not because you’re fragile, but because you cared enough to try.

The risk wasn’t just financial.

It was emotional.

And that deserves acknowledgement, not minimisation.

The Myth of Emotional Detachment in Business

We’ve been taught that professionalism equals emotional detachment.

In reality, emotional awareness is far more valuable than emotional denial.

Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear, they show up as:

• Burnout

• Resentment

• Overworking

• Withdrawal

• Self-doubt

You don’t become stronger by pretending something doesn’t hurt.

You become stronger by understanding why it does — and responding intentionally.

What “Not Taking It Personally” Actually Means

Healthy distance doesn’t mean indifference.

It means:

• Separating feedback from identity

• Responding rather than reacting

• Protecting your nervous system while staying accountable

• Making decisions based on values, not wounds

That’s not about shutting down feelings.

It’s about regulating them.

When It Is Personal and That’s Okay

Some things are personal:

• Being underpaid

• Having your boundaries ignored

• Watching your work be disrespected

• Feeling unsafe speaking up

• Seeing your values compromised

Acknowledging that doesn’t weaken your leadership.

It strengthens it.

Because leaders who deny the personal impact of work often recreate environments where others feel unseen, unheard, and expendable.

At Nudge, we don’t pretend careers are emotionless.

Work shapes identity.

Income affects wellbeing.

Purpose drives performance.

And when those things are attacked, questioned or destabilised, it’s normal for it to feel personal.

The goal isn’t to harden yourself.

It’s to build discernment, boundaries, and resilience without losing your humanity.

Because business may require strategy, but people require understanding.

And the most sustainable careers are built when we stop pretending those two things are separate.